Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
