We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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