She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
