also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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