she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
