I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
