Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
