my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
