I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
