You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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