I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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