Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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