My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
