Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
