you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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