Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
