hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
