My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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