she woke up with a sticky ear
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
