Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
