check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
