I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize