He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
