We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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