No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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