at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
