So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
