i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
