it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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