we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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