At least make sure they are 18
Why
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
