just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
