this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
