After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
