this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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