I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
