I look better un-naked...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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