my mouth tastes like poor choices
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
