I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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