It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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