My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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