Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize