Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
