What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
