I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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