Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
