I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
