I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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