I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
