So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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