i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had to cum in my sink.
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