I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
