I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want to have your abortion
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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