can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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