Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
