You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Barsexuality is the new black.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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