I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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