K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
