so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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