i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
