seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
