Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
