You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
