Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
