Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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