If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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