There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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