i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
smell my finger.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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